Parenting is a remarkable journey filled with challenges and rewards.
For married women, balancing the roles of wife and mother can be both fulfilling and demanding.
However, there are certain behaviors that can inadvertently strain relationships and hinder effective parenting.
In this article, we’ll discuss 10 parenting behaviors a married woman should avoid to allow for a healthy and harmonious family life.
10 Parenting Behaviors a Married Woman Should Avoid
1. Overcritical Attitude
Everyone has different ideologies and approaches to things.
This includes both your and your husband’s parenting style.
His ideas concerning parenting might be so different from yours so much that it pisses you off.
But constantly criticizing his style and decisions won’t proffer solutions.
Rather, it will create tension and erode trust.
It may even lead to disrespect from the kids because, when they realize that both of you are not united in their parenting, they may begin to disregard you.
So, instead of being overly critical, agree to disagree.
Engage in conversation that will help you both find common ground in your different parenting styles and make joint parenting choices.
2. Ignoring Spousal Input
Another thing you should know about parenting is that it is not a one-man affair.
It takes two to make children, and as long as your husband is available and responsible, he possesses the right to make decisions and give inputs concerning the rearing and caring of the children because they are his as much as they are yours.
Disregarding your partner’s suggestions and decisions regarding parenting will only cause unnecessary troubles in the marriage.
It may also leave your husband feeling excluded and frustrated.
Collaboration is key—involve your spouse in discussions and decisions about your children’s upbringing.
3. Undermining Discipline
When children are young, they are prone to making foolish mistakes.
It is by discipline that they can be shown the path of wisdom.
Consistent discipline is crucial for their overall well-being and development.
Refusing to discipline your kids or getting in the way of your spouse when he wants to discipline them may feel like love, but you’ll soon find that you have raised kids who are a nuisance to society.
If you would not discipline your children, show that you have regard for your husband by letting him discipline them.
Standing in the way when he wants to discipline them is a public show of disunity in your marriage and a disregard for your husband’s authority.
This behavior will make the home not just unconducive for them, and it will create a wrong impression about discipline in their minds, making them think that their father hates them.
Hovering over every aspect of their lives at this age like a mother hen will only make them resent you.
This is a natural behavior that accompanies teenagehood.
They withdraw from you and hide things from you.
Let them make mistakes and learn from their experiences.
Give them space to grow, keep a watchful eye, but leave it at that instead of constantly hovering and nagging about every little thing they do.
This will not only show your kids that you trust them with their lives but also make them more independent and teach them self-discipline.
At this stage of their lives, they are trying to find themselves and may want to do a lot of things in their adventure.
Giving them space does not mean that you should become completely disinterested in their affairs.
Stay with them and be a part of their lives, but also give them space to make their own decisions and learn from their own mistakes.
5. Taking on Too Much
As much as possible, do not handle all the responsibility of raising your children by yourself.
If your husband is not contributing to the children’s care, maybe because of his job or other situations, you both should work out a plan that will afford him the opportunity to work with you toward the sound raising of your kids and the collective well-being of the family.
Trying to handle all parenting responsibilities on your own can lead to burnout.
6. Neglecting Self-Care
It goes without saying that you cannot give what you do not have.
If you do not care about yourself, you cannot truly care for your children.
Parenting can be so overwhelming that you sometimes forget to pay attention to yourself and your needs.
But you should be careful: if you are not physically, emotionally, and mentally sound, it will soon start to tell on your relationship with your kids and in the way you care for them.
If you don’t take time to rest properly, you will soon begin to take out your frustrations on those innocent young ones.
Place priority on self-care for a better parenting experience.
7. Ignoring Relationship Maintenance
It is a bad investment to pour out all your energy and resources on parenting that you forget about nurturing your marriage and strengthening your relationship with your husband.
Children are blessings in your marriage, but your marriage is primarily you and your husband.
Neglecting his needs for a wife, friendship, and emotional bond will only cause a strain in the marriage which will, in turn, affect your relationship with the children.
Find a healthy way to balance both parenting and marriage efficiently.
8. Overcompensating with Material Things
There’s really nothing wrong with compensating your kids sometimes with material things for jobs well done.
There’s also nothing wrong with meeting their material needs.
But you must know that showering your children with material possessions does not replace their need for your presence in their lives.
Children have physical, material, and emotional needs, and as their mother, you must try as much as possible to meet these needs.
Their physical and emotional needs can only be met by your physical presence in their lives.
Bribing them with lots of material things might temporarily appease guilt or insecurities, but it doesn’t replace emotional presence and support.
Focus on building meaningful relationships with your children rather than relying on material gestures.
9. Constant Comparisons
Your children are all unique with their various giftings and abilities.
Comparing your children among themselves or measuring your children’s achievements against others will destroy their self-esteem and make them feel inferior and invaluable.
It may also push them into unhealthy competition among themselves and with their peers.
Instead of making comparisons, identify each of your children’s unique abilities and celebrate their every win.
This way, you build in them healthy self-esteem, and you make them feel loved and valued.
10. Disregarding Spousal Needs
Parenting should not make you anti-social.
Take good care of your children, but maintain a sound and balanced social life that does not pose a threat to your family and kids.
Your children may not be able to provide you with what maintaining a good social life will.
So as a prudent woman, you must find a way to balance relationships with your friends and with your children.
Parenting is a full-time job that everyone must approach with wisdom in order to avoid irreparable errors.
As a married woman, understanding that parenting is both yours and your husband’s job is one way to avoid hassles in your parenting and in your marriage.
Parenting is not without its own challenges, but by working together with your spouse, you can overcome challenges and provide your children with a supportive and loving home.