There are several challenges of marriage unmarried people are quite aware of.
And there are some others that nobody talks about, and such, are oblivious to outsiders.
Marriage is a beautiful journey that brings two individuals together to share their lives, dreams, and challenges.
While the romanticized notion of marriage often focuses on the blissful aspects, this article outlines the top 10 challenges of marriage that are often overlooked.
Top 10 Challenges of Marriage No One Tells You About
1. Communication Struggles
As basic as communication may seem, many couples struggle with communicating effectively.
They find it difficult to openly express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns.
This may be a result of different communication patterns and their unwillingness to learn each other’s communication patterns.
Sometimes, you find a setting where one partner likes to be vocal about everything while the other prefers to communicate using body language.
Misunderstandings and conflicts can arise in this situation, especially when partners assume they understand each other without clearly communicating.
These communication struggles can lead to a rollercoaster of other marital troubles if not dealt with.
To overcome this challenge, couples must be willing to submit to themselves and give in to learning each other’s pattern of communication.
They must also practice active listening so as to completely understand what their partner is trying to say and normalize asking questions when they are unclear on certain matters.
2. Balancing Autonomy and Togetherness
When two individuals come together in the marital union, they do not automatically merge into each other and become one.
Yes, they must practice oneness in unity, value, and focus.
But they are still two different people with different ideas, opinions, backgrounds, hobbies, and even career choices.
Balancing their individual life in marriage poses a serious challenge for many couples.
Many times, it’s the struggle of knowing where to draw the line or how to smoothly balance their individual differences to make a beautiful union.
You’ll find cases where the man thinks his “work-life” does not really concern his wife and, therefore, takes all the decisions concerning his career alone.
If his wife does not share this thought pattern, it can lead to a serious crisis in their marriage.
Then there’s also the challenge of pursuing personal interests in marriage without leaving the spouse feeling left out.
Maintaining a sense of individuality while being part of a partnership can be truly challenging.
3. Financial Friction
Financial problems are very common in modern marriages.
Before, there was a tradition where the men earned and were completely responsible for finances in their marriages, and their wives were responsible for the making and keeping of the home.
However, with the rise of many career/businesswomen today, that style can no longer be effective.
With the rise in the cost of living, women who are working must bring in their quota for the well-being of the home.
In some marriages, some partners decide to be autonomous with their monies to the detriment of the collective well-being of the home.
Also, couples may face the challenge of differences in spending habits and financial priorities.
The person with more financial intelligence in the home should always be given the opportunity to make financial decisions in order to avoid unnecessary conflicts and stress.
Financial issues can also be curbed if the couples share their financial goals, plan, and budget and maintain financial transparency with each other.
4. Intimacy and Emotional Connection
Usually, when people see married people, they see two people who are enjoying both emotional and physical intimacy.
However, these things can be lacking in a marriage.
Sometimes, people find out after marriage that their spouses do not satisfy their intimate needs.
Other times, the connection just wanes following the couples’ lack of intentionality to keep their spark alive.
When this trouble arises, couples should try to spend more time in each other’s company than before, doing things they both enjoy doing.
They should also verbalize their intimate needs and be willing to make compromises to satisfy each other.
5. Conflict Resolution
Conflicts are an integral part of every relationship, but in marriage, there must be a laid-out conflict resolution plan.
The absence of conflict resolution plans in marriage often leads to prolonged conflicts and strain.
Partners in marriage must be able to manage each other’s excesses and be willing to make personal adjustments to ensure peace in the marriage.
When conflicts arise, both parties must be able to maintain their calm and refer to their conflict resolution plan.
When there is none, Conflicts can be resolved if the partners are willing to talk through negotiation in order to find a common ground.
Other times, they may need to bring in a third party – a professional counselor or a mediator.
6. Changing Roles and Responsibilities
As life progresses, roles within the marriage often evolve.
Changes such as becoming parents, career shifts, or personal growth can disrupt established routines.
Unexpected and unplanned changes often leave married people in confusion and without direction.
They sometimes take out their frustration on each other rather than working together to find the way forward.
Flexibility in a pattern of living can also help couples adjust to changes as they come.
7. External Influences
External factors, such as family, friends, and societal expectations, can impact a marriage.
You can’t tell couples to completely cut off from their external families and friends just because they are married.
And the presence of these people in their lives indirectly affects their choices and decisions on a daily basis.
And the ones with bad or negative influence may cause unexpected and unnecessary troubles in the marriage.
Balancing these influences with the needs of the partnership is crucial.
8. Time Management
Modern life can be busy, leaving little time for personal growth and quality time together.
Sometimes, following their load of responsibilities, couples barely have time for each other.
The ones who have kids may often leave their kids in the care of nannies while they go on pursuing other successes in life.
This inability to manage their time to accommodate each other often births several challenges in marriage.
Striking a balance between individual pursuits and spending time as a couple must not be underrated.
9. Personal Growth and Evolution
Individual growth is a constant in life, and personal changes can impact the dynamics of a marriage.
One partner must not hinder the other from pursuing personal growth, as the growth of each of the partners is the growth of the marriage.
If one partner is growing and the other isn’t, there will soon be a divide between them as they will be operating from different levels.
Navigating these changes requires understanding and support.
To embrace personal growth within a marriage, couples should find ways to incorporate their growth into their goals and grow together.
They should also hold each other up and be there to encourage each other through the process.
10. Long-Term Planning
Some couples find it very overwhelming to plan long-term.
While one partner may decide that life should be taken a day at a time, the other partner may insist on planning ahead for the future.
This difference can cause troubles in their marriage, especially if they are not willing to make compromises.
Married couples must understand that flexibility is the best way to make a marriage work.
They must be willing to do the things that need to be done to ensure that their marriage runs smoothly and harmoniously.
Conclusion:
These are challenges that often appear in marriage to the surprise of outsiders.
But these challenges are not insurmountable.
With willingness and unity, couples can create a safe place for each other in marriage, ensuring that their needs are met and that there is satisfaction and peace in their home.
The key lies in open communication, empathy, and a shared commitment to nurturing the relationship amidst life’s twists and turns.