As you walk gracefully into that room, do you feel the shivering in people’s hearts?
Do you feel the hair on their skin rise?
Do you feel they are feeling subdued?
Or has anyone been bold enough to tell you that you’re intimidating?
Don’t fret, dear lady.
“Intimidating” is a label that many strong, confident women hear from time to time.
You didn’t make a wrong decision when you chose to be graceful, and you also do not need to feel any pressure about losing yourself to make anyone feel good.
Humans are insatiable, and no matter how hard you bend to please them, they’ll never have enough until you’re broken in halves.
There are several things a man may have seen in you that make him perceive you as intimidating.
Let’s highlight seven of these traits.
10 Reasons Why Some Men Find You Intimidating
1. Confidence Speaks Volumes
Confidence is an attractive quality, but some men may find it intimidating because it challenges traditional gender norms or societal expectations.
It is very acceptable if a woman is timid, shy, or lacks the ability to be expressive.
But in today’s generation, it is rare to find women who are unable to project themselves.
The advent of the internet and social media have created several platforms through which a can build her self-esteem and confidence, and a lot of women are grabbing these opportunities.
When a woman exudes confidence, it can be perceived as a threat to the norm, to those who do not feel equally secure in themselves.
Some men may think that a woman who exudes confidence is naturally aggressive and rude.
But this is not always the case.
A confident woman is just a woman who knows her onions and has healthy self-esteem.
This intimidation is more about the other person’s insecurities than any negative aspect of confidence itself.
A man who has insecurities would definitely feel like a confident woman is intimidating.
2. Intellectual Prowess
Another thing a woman may possess that can make a man consider her intimidating is intellectual prowess.
Many years ago, women were restricted from every form of formal education; hence, they were not expected to possess intellectual prowess.
Although the world has experienced evolution and women are now allowed access to all forms of formal education to the highest level, some men still feel threatened by an intelligent woman.
Most times, these men may be uneasy about the prospect of engaging in conversations or activities where they perceive a knowledge gap.
They believe in the societal norms that have traditionally placed men as the primary source of intellectual authority.
So they’d rather feel intimidated than submit to learn from a woman who has broken these norms by showcasing her intelligence.
It can challenge preconceived notions and trigger feelings of inadequacy in them.
No matter how dependent a person is, everyone likes to maintain some level of independence in their lives.
And adults can choose to be almost completely independent people if they have the means.
Independence can be attractive and real.
Many men admire and appreciate women who have figured out their lives or are figuring it out and are not dependent on someone else for their every breath.
And independent women are also very responsible.
But amidst the juiciness that comes with being an independent woman, your independence may intimidate some men.
These are some men who are accustomed to societal roles where they are expected to be the primary providers or protectors.
Your ability to stand on your own may challenge traditional gender dynamics, making some individuals uncomfortable with the shift in power dynamics.
This intimidation has nothing to do with your persona.
They only feel intimidated because of their perceptions of societal roles and their refusal to evolve.
4. Assertiveness in Communication
One of the best skills an individual can possess is the ability to communicate effectively.
Although being assertive in communication is such a valuable skill, not everyone is able to get it.
Yet, some men find women who are bold communicators intimidating.
This is true of men who may be more accustomed to indirect or passive forms of communication.
Your directness and boldness in communicating may come off to him as a challenge, especially if they are not accustomed to open and straightforward conversations.
If this is you, you should know that you are not actually intimidating, and there is no inherent flaw in your communication approach.
The man is just experiencing a difference in communication styles, and he is not comfortable with your assertiveness.
5. Unapologetic Authenticity
In today’s generation, where everyone is putting up a fake profile on social media just to be able to fit in, it should be a thing of grace to find someone who is authentic and unapologetic about it.
An authentic woman is one who has come to full acceptance of who she is – her failures, her flaws, her struggles, her strengths, her weaknesses, her beauty – and has fully embraced it.
Not everyone possesses this ability.
Some people still feel the need to conceal some areas of their lives they feel aren’t good enough.
They want to look like everyone else, showing the world that they are perfect people and have perfect lives.
Nobody has a perfect life, and men who may not have fully accepted or expressed their true selves may consider your show of originality intimidating.
Your commitment to being genuine and true to who you are challenges the normalization of fakeness in the world today, making others uneasy.
But you don’t need to bend for them; everyone can be authentic if they so choose.
People don’t just succeed by wishful thinking.
A successful person is someone who has consistently put in all the work needed to win and has not given up through failures.
Everyone wants to succeed in their various endeavors, but very few are willing to fail several times until they succeed.
If they try something once and it doesn’t go as planned, they tend to become afraid to try again.
That’s not how successful people are.
While success is an admirable trait, it can be intimidating to some men who might feel pressure to match or exceed your achievements.
Your accomplishments may trigger feelings of inadequacy or competition, especially if they haven’t reached similar milestones.
The truth is that people’s success levels cannot always be the same, and there is always time and an opportunity for everyone to achieve success in the area they desire.
The question is, are they ready to do the work?
7. High Standards
As a person, you have decided for yourself that you wouldn’t settle for less in any way and have thus raised the standard high for yourself.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this decision, but it can definitely feel like an oppression to people who are unable to reach your standard.
Your commitment to excellence may trigger feelings of inadequacy in those who perceive themselves as falling short of these standards.
But this is truly unnecessary.
There is someone for everyone.
The fact that some people cannot meet your standard doesn’t make them failures.
There are several other people whose standards they meet and even exceed.
Still, everyone can also raise their standard and push themselves hard to reach it.
It all boils down to what people want with their lives.
Their feeling of intimidation is more about their own self-perception and potential fear of judgment rather than any negativity associated with having high standards.
It is important for us to reemphasize that being intimidating isn’t necessarily a negative trait.
It often stems from positive qualities that set you apart.
Of course, there are some women who bully people of lower class than them.
But this is not so of a graceful woman. Embracing who you are while being aware of how others perceive you can foster better understanding and connections.