You know, the other day, I was just thinking to myself: “If people did not have an option to get divorced in marriage, would they do the work needed to make their marriage work for their own happiness? Or will they choose to remain unhappy for the rest of their lives?”
Because people have the option to get a divorce when they are faced with very infinitesimal challenges in their marriages – challenges that a little bit of sacrifice and adjustments here and there can solve, they rather opt for divorce.
And it’s funny because if the role was shifted and this challenge rose up in their corporate organization, they would not even wait to be told to make adjustments or risk losing their jobs before they make the necessary sacrifices needed to sustain their jobs.
But on a lifetime commitment: one that they stood in the congregation of people and swore a lifetime commitment, they are scarcely willing to make sacrifices needed to keep it.
Divorce is a significant decision that should not be taken lightly.
This is not to invalidate the very valid reasons people have for getting a divorce, but it’s necessary to discern between genuine concerns and issues that may not justify such a drastic step.
In this article, we explore 7 bad reasons couples get divorced.
7 Bad Reasons Couples Get Divorced
1. Mismatched Interests
It’s common to have two people from different backgrounds and cultures have different interests.
Sometimes, these interests can be on two extremes such that it seems like they cannot be made to match.
We also know that marriages often thrive on shared interests, but having different hobbies or passions shouldn’t necessarily warrant divorce.
Instead of viewing mismatched interests as an irreparable rift, couples can use these differences as an opportunity for personal growth and mutual enrichment.
Who said the interests must match?
Rather than looking for a way to marry mismatched interests, couples should take an interest in their differences.
As soon as they begin to learn and love each other’s interests, they have already found their midpoint.
They can also take up new interests and find common ground that can deepen their connection.
Communication also plays a pivotal role; expressing the importance of individual interests while seeking ways to incorporate shared activities can create a more balanced and fulfilling relationship.
Rushing into divorce without attempting to bridge the gap between their interests is an unwise move that overlooks the potential for a more dynamic and resilient marriage.
2. Financial Disagreements
We truly cannot invalidate the pain that people go through in their marriages just because they are not financially intelligent.
Financial challenges are inherent in many marriages and rank high on the list of causes of divorce.
Still, divorcing solely over monetary issues is not a wise decision.
Finances can be handled properly using a little help here and there.
Instead of opting for divorce, couples should focus on creating financial goals, and a budget and seeking professional advice.
As they address the root causes of financial disagreements, they can arrive at practical solutions and a stronger financial foundation.
Seeking the assistance of financial counselors or marriage therapists allows couples to navigate these challenges together, thus, creating a sense of teamwork and shared responsibility.
3. External Pressure
When you chose each other for marriage, there must have been compelling reasons that made you opt for yourselves.
Unless in exclusive cases, people do not just get married without first considering if it’s the person they want to be with long-term.
They’ll weigh their options and count the cost before they finally decide to be with them.
And there’ll always be external factors – people who believe they know better than people who want to get married and what they want in their marriage and partner.
But the thing about marriage that people fail to realize is that couples are the primary bearers of consequences.
So if they make a bad decision, they’ll suffer; if they make good ones, they’ll enjoy it.
Following this, deciding to divorce due to external pressures, whether from society or family, can be detrimental to the authenticity of a marriage.
Because your own desire to be with your spouse should be stronger than the influences of the people around you.
Choosing divorce solely based on external expectations may lead to regret and a missed opportunity to build a relationship based on mutual understanding and genuine connection.
4. Changes In Physical Appearance
This one isn’t just an unwise reason for getting a divorce, it’s a petty, childish reason.
I mean, what adult does not know that physical bodily changes are inevitable?
There’s no way a person can remain the exact same way for too long.
As we grow older and with body usage, the body begins to lose strength and vigor.
Choosing divorce based on dissatisfaction with physical appearances is a clear sign that the deeper emotional connection that forms the foundation of a strong marriage was neglected during the choice of marriage.
Rather than viewing physical changes as a reason to end the relationship, couples can find beauty in every change in their appearance.
There’s beauty in wrinkles as much as there is beauty in stretch marks.
Investing in physical health care and encouraging each other’s well-being can lead to a healthier and more positive outlook.
And it’s what couples should do if they truly want to preserve their marriage.
5. Desire for Independence
It’s given that marriage may tend to be choking sometimes, ridding people of space to maintain their individuality and some level of independence.
It is easier to maintain independence in a relationship that doesn’t require a great deal of commitment, as does marriage.
Feeling a need for independence is natural within any relationship.
Every now and then, people want the opportunity to breathe, to be, without having to think about their deep responsibilities to another.
But instead of considering divorce solely for personal freedom, couples should rather establish healthy boundaries.
They should engage in conversations about their individual needs and desires and try to find a balance between independence and togetherness that allows for personal growth without sacrificing the relationship.
6. Comparison with Others
Even if your spouse is a twin, they can never be the same person as another person.
As soon as you begin to think in your mind that your marriage should be like another marriage or that your spouse should be like another person, you’re already giving yourself an excuse to destroy your marriage.
Comparing your marriage to others can lead to unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction.
Instead of choosing divorce because they feel like there’s something better than what they have, couples can focus on their unique journey and all the beautiful things they share.
They can also discuss their personal expectations and aspirations to allow them to align with each other’s goals.
Understanding that every relationship is different and has its own challenges can lead to a more realistic and fulfilling perspective.
As they work together to strengthen their bond rather than ending the relationship due to external benchmarks, they allow themselves to build a foundation based on mutual understanding and genuine connection.
7. Temporary Emotional States
You see, once in a while, people experience emotional breakdowns.
This breakdown may be caused by several things, including stress.
Deciding on divorce during times of heightened emotional distress, such as anger or sadness, may not reflect long-term considerations.
Instead of making impulsive decisions, couples should take the time to reflect on their emotions and take necessary rest.
Anyone can experience emotional turmoil.
In times like this, couples should address the underlying emotions and work through their challenges during moments of emotional turbulence that can lead to a more stable and resilient relationship.
If you’ve read all the way up to this point, you should be in agreement with me that many reasons people get divorced are not reasons at all.
Marriage is team hard work and commitment.
If both partners are not willing to do the work needed to make their marriage work, then they probably shouldn’t be married in the first place.