“…and they remained together happily ever after.”
Is happily ever after actually happily ever after?
Is it a real thing, or is it just a nice thing to say?
Everyone goes into marriage with the plan to stay “happily ever after,” but the truth is, that’s not what they end up getting.
Marriage is an intentional union where both couples have to put in intentionality on a daily basis to have their marriage work.
However, no matter how intentional people are with their marriage, there are really no assurances.
Change is constant and inevitable in people.
A person who is in love with someone today can wake up the next day with a change in taste and desires.
A person can wake up with a longing for more in their relationship.
And all these changes can result in unhappiness.
While you’re longing for happily ever after, your husband may have become unhappy in the marriage, and you should not be oblivious to this.
Below are nine telltale signs to help you know whether or not your husband is unhappy in your marriage.
9 Signs A Married Man Is Unhappy In His Marriage
1. He Becomes Emotionally Distant
One of the reasons we marry is to have someone to share our thoughts, feelings, and burdens with—and that’s emotional intimacy, which is an essential component of a healthy marriage.
However, when a man is not happy in his marriage, he becomes emotionally distant.
He may avoid conversations and not share his feelings with his wife.
He’d rather keep quiet or have another person, maybe a friend or a colleague, to share his mind with—anyone but his wife.
After all, if he’s happy with his wife or in his marriage, why wouldn’t he want to be emotionally intimate with her?
2. Physical Intimacy Reduces or Becomes Non-Existent
Physical intimacy is a big part of a marriage, and it’s especially a big deal for men.
When you’re married, you have the opportunity to express your love for each other in ways that aren’t always possible when you’re just dating or living together.
Physical intimacy can take many forms: kissing, hugging, and cuddling are all examples of physical contact between two a couple who love each other.
If a husband suddenly stops initiating these activities with his wife or resists his wife’s advances and display of affection, he might just be unhappy.
Maybe he feels like his wife isn’t emotionally available or that she’s too distant to truly connect with him.
Or he might just feel disconnected from her and, as a result, be uninterested in physical intimacy with her.
Whatever the reason for the lack of interest in physical contact, it’s often a sign of unhappiness in a marriage if one partner consistently resists the other’s desire for physical intimacy.
A lack of connection can lead to a lack of emotional and physical closeness, which may eventually result in an overall decrease in happiness within the marriage.
3. He Becomes Overly Critical of His Wife
They say hurt people hurt people.
A happy person will find joy in simple things and even see the good in every bad situation.
When a man becomes overly critical of his wife, it might be a sign that he’s unhappy in his marriage.
He might criticize her for small things, from the way she dresses to the decisions she makes.
It could also take the form of nitpicking about seemingly inconsequential topics like her choice of music or television shows.
This behavior is a defense mechanism that allows him to externalize his unhappiness and avoid addressing it head-on.
This criticism can take a toll on a woman’s self-esteem and lead to resentment and conflict in the relationship.
4. Negative Body Language
No matter how much people try to veil their true feelings, energy cannot lie.
If your husband is trying really hard to feel you, it is probably an indication of his unhappiness in the marriage.
Pay attention to non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and gestures.
For instance, when you share something with him or speak to him about something, his first reaction may suggest that you are disturbing him.
He may try to act differently immediately like everything is alright, but you have already caught sight of the first reaction.
You should also pay attention to his random body language.
Like if he is always sighing or hissing.
Or is more sad than he is happy?
These negative changes may signal unhappiness in marriage.
5. Seeking Solitude
Usually, married couples want to spend quality time with each other.
They find solace in being in each other’s company and doing things that will become beautiful memories.
It is a thing of concern if a married person is all of a sudden always seeking solitude.
Every time you step into the room where he is alone, he leaves.
He always wants to be alone.
He’s either away from home for an extensive period of time, or he is at home but is locked away in one room, shutting you out continually.
No one is saying that married couples would not seek alone time or do not have the right to be alone for some time.
Of course, they do.
Couples are individuals, and they have the right to their individuality and independence.
However, an excessive and continuous need for solitude may be a sign that he is no longer happy in the marriage.
6. Expressing Dissatisfaction
It may not happen very frequently, but your husband may have expressed his displeasure in a very crucial aspect of the marriage once or more.
When he does this, it is important that you pay attention to his displeasure and make adjustments to turn the story around.
It is very rare before you see a husband expressly communicate his unhappiness in his marriage.
So, if he does this, it must be taken seriously and acted upon immediately because if he says he is unhappy, then he really is unhappy.
Therefore, probe further and see what might be causing his unhappiness so that you can work on correcting it.
7. Communication Changes
Another sign to look out for to determine whether or not your husband is unhappy in the marriage is communication.
If he is unhappy, the communication pattern in your marriage will change.
Conversation will be without energy, and it will be as if you both have nothing to talk about.
This is the same man with whom you used to have unending hours of conversation.
Is suddenly tired of talking, suddenly has nothing to say, and suddenly is bored with having conversations.
You should check cos it may be a clear indication of his unhappiness in the marriage.
Couples like to talk with each other, and you’ll know a great relationship by the strength of communication they share.
If your husband no longer sees reasons to tell you how he feels or what happened in his day, he may be struggling with something bigger than the ability to communicate.
8. Change in Behavior
There may be things that your husband does habitually that endear you to him.
Some of those things he may have started as a deliberate act to make you happy, and after doing them continually for a while, they became a routine in the marriage.
For instance, if your husband always makes sure he drops a kiss for you before he steps out, then all of a sudden he stops, you should be bothered about it.
Noticeable changes in habits, routines, or interests may be a sign that something is amiss.
These changes may show a lack of enthusiasm or interest in the marriage, and it can be telling.
9. Frequent Arguments
Conflicts are commonplace in every relationship.
You cannot overrule the place of conflicts in sound relationships.
Conflicts, if properly handled, are designed to draw people closer to themselves rather than tear them apart.
But it happens that many times during conflicts, couples are unable to handle it effectively, leading to strain in their relationship.
Beyond this, couples are not supposed to be always fighting each other in their marriage.
There’s room for occasional conflict, but frequent fights and quarrels may indicate unhappiness in the marriage.
If your husband is always picking a fight with you over little things, it is most likely that he has become unhappy in the marriage.
One thing you must know is that you may not be the cause of your husband’s unhappiness, but there are things you can do to check it.
Your marriage is yours to keep, so if it requires any extra work at any time, you should be ready to do it.
Approach these signs with empathy and openness, encouraging honest communication to understand and address any underlying concerns.
If you feel like it is beyond what you both can handle, seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, can also be beneficial in these challenges together.