Some years back, if you asked a man why he wasn’t yet married, the response you’d most likely get is either lack of money or lack of family’s consent.
Those were the major issues standing in between men and getting married.
Issues that were easier to resolve.
In recent years, there has been a notable shift in societal attitudes towards marriage, rising with many philosophies about the true purpose of marriage.
There are more people seeking a safe place from marriage than there are people who are excited to get into the beautiful union.
Of course, there are still people who give us reasons to dress up every weekend and attend weddings, but there is a growing number of men who have chosen not to marry.
It is a major concern, so we decided to ask the question, and below are the answers we have gotten.
10 Reasons Why Some Men Are Choosing Not To Marry Anymore
1. Changing Social Norms
With the evolution of traditional gender roles in today’s society, some men no longer feel compelled to conform to the idea of being married.
What they know to be marriage is how it was in the traditional days, when men were the sole providers or protectors of their respective families.
But with the rise of the fight for gender equality and the rest, some men have become unsure of their role in a married home, and others are not willing to assume that role.
They believe that the fight for gender equality also implies that women are equally the head of the home as much as they are.
With a focus on this idea, some men have excused themselves from marriage.
They like to be the head of the home and do not appreciate it when that role is threatened.
Of course, one body cannot have two heads.
So it’s either there’s only one head or no head at all.
They also worry that with all that society is teaching women and allowing them to do, their wives may be arrogant in the marriage.
But the truth is all these ideas are just a result of the misunderstanding of gender roles and marital roles.
If a man and a woman both understand what is required of them in a marriage, then they can have a happy marriage.
2. Fear Of Divorce
The fear of going through a painful and costly divorce deters some men from getting married.
Aside from the emotional trauma of having to go through a divorce process, there is the financial trauma.
As mentioned in the introduction of this article, most of the men who debunk the idea of marriage are actually afraid of having to split their money with a woman who files for a divorce when there is a misunderstanding or conflict in the marriage.
And with the high divorce rates and all the stories of men losing their wealth to their ex-wives, this fear has eaten deeper into the minds of men.
Now, men are not so interested in getting married.
They prefer to have flings and baby mamas rather than commit themselves to marriage with someone who would go away with their wealth eventually.
3. Financial Independence
Many men are all out for independence, especially as it concerns their finances.
They do not want to make money and have to be answerable to someone else about what comes in and goes out of their purses.
So they opt for non-committal relationships where no one has the right to question them about their earnings and spending.
Then there is another set of men who are threatened by the way women are becoming increasingly financially independent.
“What’s the point of getting married to a woman who has her own money and can take care of herself?”
Going back to the issue of gender and marital roles, some men feel that if a woman has enough money or more money than they do, the women will contend with them for the role of the head of the family.
They’d rather take up the financial responsibility for their kids from baby mamas than take up the struggle of being married to a financially dependent woman.
4. Focus On Career
Marriage usually does not disrupt people’s career pursuits.
With effective planning and adequate finances, people can reach whatever career height they desire, even in marriage.
But many men today have included the need to focus on their careers as one of the reasons they have refused to get married.
It is true that pursuing a successful career often demands time and effort.
There are times when career people won’t care about anything else other than reaching their career goals, and this may not be easily possible in marriage because marriage requires a daily intentional commitment to work.
Some others may decide to prioritize their professional aspirations over marriage during their early years with the mindset that while they are young, they ought to make money.
They can decide if they want to get married or not later in life.
5. Commitment Phobia
Have you seen people with commitment phobia?
They are too afraid to be committed to anything.
Sometimes, they might not know it by themselves.
If asked, they’ll have a long list of seemingly understandable excuses for not committing to things.
In relationships, they’ll say they are avoiding what might possibly become a problem in the future, like breakup or divorce, or the other challenges that follow being committed in marriage.
And when you consider these reasons, their fear may be valid.
But if they are people who have commitment phobia, you’ll discover that they are also afraid of something in their career that makes them not commit, and in every other area of their lives.
This fear of being committed has a way of restricting their progress in life.
6. Cultural and Religious Differences
Many people who get married are from different cultural and religious backgrounds.
They come together despite their differences and willingly commit to themselves in a beautiful union.
However, other men have laid out the issue of cultural and religious differences as their reason for not getting married.
Some of them come from cultures or belief systems that do not prioritize marriage.
So naturally, they, too, do not see the importance of being married.
Others are just afraid of being with people who have different beliefs, and many times, it’s because they are not ready to make any compromise in the marriage.
7. Fear of Losing Independence
Just like with their finances, men like to have control over their lives and the freedom to do anything they want to do without having to answer to anyone.
But marriage takes that away from you.
When you’re married, you’re responsible both for and to your spouse.
You have to discuss all your plans with your spouse and seek consent before you can do anything.
And because you are responsible for your spouse, you must also take them into consideration when making decisions.
You can’t stay out like you used to, spend whenever you want, or behave anyhow anymore.
Many men do not appreciate the idea that marriage poses a threat to their individual freedom and independence, and that is simply because they do not want to be accountable to anyone.
They value their autonomy and are reluctant to compromise their independence for commitment.
These reasons are not universally applicable; they are just the few answers that we were able to get to the question we asked: ” Reasons why are men not getting married?”
And amidst all these, many men still value and choose to marry.
The decision to marry or not is a personal one, influenced by individual circumstances and beliefs.
Society continues to evolve, and the institution of marriage is transforming along with it.
We must learn to understand and respect the choices made by individuals regarding marriage as is crucial in today’s diverse world.