9 Clear Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

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We can go on and on about the ills of keeping a mistress.

The emotional trauma it places the wife in, the frowns of the society, and the disrespect to the family, among many others.

Relationships are usually a beautiful blend of love and companionship until a mistress is added to the mix.

Then things get really messy.

Having a mistress has always been a shady affair, and it’s not really a question of whether or not there are emotions involved – there’s a bigger question about whether it’s ethical to have a secret romance outside of a committed partnership.

But that’s not the question this article seeks to answer.

Today, we’re going to focus on the ways to find out if the relationship with the mistress is just a fling or if there is love and commitment in it.

Here are 9 ways to know it:

9 Clear Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

1. Increased Emotional Investment

Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

When a man experiences a deepening emotional connection with his mistress, there is a noticeable increase in his overall emotional investment in the relationship.

This can manifest in various ways, like when he becomes more attentive to her, becomes genuinely concerned for her well-being, and becomes empathetic towards her emotions.

He becomes more attuned to her needs while he actively seeks ways to provide her emotional support and comfort.

This increased emotional investment often reflects a growing attachment that goes beyond the physical aspects of the relationship, emphasizing the importance of emotional intimacy.


2. Frequent Thoughts or Mentions

Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

If you’ve been in love, you’ll understand how powerful an impact it can have on your thoughts.

How one person can fill your thoughts and mind so much that it seems like you can’t think of anything else.

When a man falls for his mistress, she occupies a significant space in his mind.

And because we usually cannot prevent ourselves from mentioning something that fills our mind, consciously or unconsciously, he will mention her.

Whether in casual conversations or more profound discussions, he may find himself frequently thinking about or mentioning his mistress.

This could be reflected in the way he subtly weaves her into various topics or shares anecdotes that involve her.

These frequent thoughts and mentions suggest that she is not just a physical presence but a constant presence in his thoughts, indicating a level of emotional significance in the relationship.


3. Changes in Communication Patterns

Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

As a man falls deeper in love with his mistress, you would observe notable shifts in his communication style.

He will become more open with her and become more willing to share his personal thoughts and feelings.

At this point, she has moved from being just a tool for pleasure to being an important person in his life.

He becomes more transparent about his emotions, creating an atmosphere of trust and emotional intimacy.

This change could extend to both verbal and non-verbal communication, showing his desire to connect with her on a deeper, more meaningful level.


4. Intensified Quality Time

Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

He goes from visiting his mistress when he wants to satisfy his desires and leaving immediately after to actually spending time with her.

Love often translates into a desire for more quality time together.

A man in love with his mistress will most likely become more interested in spending meaningful moments with her beyond the physical aspects of their relationship.

He’ll extend their time together to doing things they both love, having deep conversations, and enjoying genuine companionship.

He begins to do these things more intentionally, putting extra effort into creating memorable and intimate moments as an indication that he is committed to nurturing the emotional bond.


5. Protective Behavior

Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

Deep emotional attachment often elicits a sense of protectiveness.

When his mistress is nothing more than a physical partner to him, he probably won’t even notice anything that happens around her, but when he begins to fall in love with her, you observe his heightened concern for her safety, happiness, and overall well-being.

This protective behavior can manifest in various ways, such as a genuine interest in her daily life, a willingness to offer support during challenging times, and a proactive effort to ensure her comfort.

He doesn’t even try like they are usually not premeditated.

They just happen.

This protective instinct is a clear expression of his interest in her, reflecting his desire to safeguard her from any potential harm or distress.


6. Expressions of Vulnerability

Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

Along with being more open to her, he also lets her see his vulnerability.

Now, you should know that men are super protective of their vulnerability.

You may never see a man in his low place unless he lets you, and many times, he only lets the very few people who matter to him the most access to his vulnerability.

Love fosters emotional intimacy.

The deeper he falls in love with his mistress, the more willing he is to express vulnerability.

This involves sharing fears, dreams, and insecurities in a way that goes beyond the surface level.

He may become more open about his innermost thoughts, allowing a deeper emotional connection to develop.

This willingness to be vulnerable signifies a level of trust and comfort in the relationship, one that he can only get with a person he loves.


7. Jealousy and Possessiveness

Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

Many times, men who keep mistresses do not bother about whether they have other people in their lives or not.

As long as they are getting their needs met, nothing else matters.

However, emotional involvement can trigger feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, especially in the context of an affair.

Once he is in love with his mistress, he begins to exhibit signs of protective jealousy, expressing discomfort at the thought of her being involved with someone else.

Possessive behavior can manifest in subtle ways, such as a heightened interest in her social interactions or a desire to know more about her personal life.

While these emotions should be approached with caution, as they can be complex, they may indicate a deep emotional attachment and a fear of losing the person he cares about.


8. Efforts to Resolve Relationship Conflicts

Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

Because of how seemingly easy it is to get a mistress, people often do not put effort into maintaining a relationship with them.

If conflict arises, a man can decide to leave her and move on to another.

But when a man begins to fall in love with his mistress, his emotions have entered the game, and he won’t just throw it away like that.

He is more likely to invest time and effort into resolving conflicts within the relationship.

Instead of avoiding or escalating issues, he begins to actively seek solutions and a workable conflict resolution plan actively, demonstrating a commitment to the emotional well-being of both partners.

His proactive approach to conflict resolution is a clear indication of a desire to strengthen the relationship, fostering an environment of understanding and mutual growth.


9. Physical Affection and Intimacy

Signs A Man Has Fallen In Love With His Mistress

One of the most tangible signs of a man falling in love with his mistress is an intensification of physical affection and intimacy.

This goes beyond the initial stages of a relationship and involves an increased desire for closeness and public display of affection expressed through hugs, kisses, and meaningful touches.

So, physical intimacy goes beyond being something used to satisfy urges to become a way to convey deep emotional connection and affection.

Also, he becomes more bold to express his desires and what they mean to him.



While these signs may offer insights into a man’s feelings for his mistress, it doesn’t validate his keeping her while he’s still committed to another relationship.

A woman whose man has a mistress must learn to prioritize her mental health and well-being before any other.

She should get as much help as she needs and stay within a support group that can hold her through her pains. 

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