Offences and hurts are a normal part of human interaction because no two persons are the same.
When two individuals from different origins, cultures, backgrounds, belief systems, etc. come together to build a relationship, it is only normal in certain circumstances for him to unintentionally hurt you.
However, it does not stop at this alone.
Just like when trust is broken, it does not magically mend or fix itself; it takes a lot of being intentional both in words and actions to regain such back.
The same rule applies here.
When a man hurts you, there have to be signs he is sorry for hurting you to be sure he’s indeed sorry for hurting you.
Let us look at some signs he is sorry for hurting you.
4 Signs He’s Sorry for Hurting You
First, let’s about communication.
Communication is an essential part of every relationship.
Effective communication, which includes good listening ability, understanding of words and intentions, and ability to give an appropriate response.
When there is hurt, it is necessary to address it and not try to cover it up or make excuses for it.
When issues are not addressed and resolved, they only give room for other issues to breed on, and it is a disaster waiting to happen in the end.
Communication here is two-way.
First, you tell him about your feelings.
Did he hurt you?
Then you have to tell him because some men can ignorantly not be aware of their actions, so you should express yourself and let him know.
When he is aware or if he is already aware of how he messed up, then you can make progress.
You know he is sorry for hurting you if he:
1. Accepts his wrongs and understands there is an issue that needs to be settled
He does not make excuses for his action and or turn the tables, and make it look like your feelings are not valid.
Because they are.
Admitting his faults is the first sign that he is sorry for hurting you.
2. He apologizes
- In Words.
A verbal apology is very important and should not be ignored.
Some men can go to any length to show they are sorry but they’ll never say the magic words, ‘I’m sorry’.
This is usually a thing of ego or pride.
Some buy the most expensive gift they can afford, but they won’t say sorry.
If you are okay with this display of remorse, fine.
But some women are not appeased until a man says how sorry they are.
Do you know why beyond actions, words are also important?
A good number of people often need time to sit and reflect on their actions or words in their hearts first.
So, the words of apology they speak is not a function of that moment alone but a product of pre-processed thoughts which now find expression in words.
Give him time, ensure he says he is sorry for hurting you because this does not mean he is heartbroken alone, but it means he has also come into a realisation of what he did and its effect on you.
- In Action
Let’s take this a bit further—he knows he messed up and he verbally communicates he is sorry.
But his actions must back up his words.
If not, it’s like blowing air into a punctured balloon— a wasted effort.
So you have to see it in action.
This is relative to each person.
What actions would you consider as a sign to know he feels bad?
People have different love languages.
For some people, receiving an apology with a thoughtful gift is enough while for another, it might not just convey that he is heartbroken over you.
Another good thing about this is, it lets you know how much he pays attention to the little things about you, and gives insight into knowing if he deeply cares about you.
He hurt you.
He has to make an effort, so you better see that apology in actions too.e
3. He changes or makes an effort to
After the apologies both in words and actions, another sign to look out for is if he is making obvious changes.
You can’t change anyone.
People have to come to the realization that they need to change even though they can be influenced to change, especially by a loved one.
Because when it comes to someone you deeply care about, you can’t keep giving excuses for your bad behavior.
You have to make up your mind to work at being better and making their time with you one filled with joy and happiness.
And if that includes making little changes here and there or compromising for the greater good, then it should be done.
If he’s making efforts to change his behavior, not just for you but to become a better person, then it’s one of the signs he is sorry for hurting you.
This might not be an immediate thing.
This might require some time. Change requires time.
In time, the true thoughts, motives and intentions will be revealed.
The true nature will also be revealed and over time you will be able to know if he is indeed sorry and ready to turn a new leaf.
So give it time and look out for changes.
4. He does not repeat the same thing
A popular quote by Ian Fleming says, ‘Once is happenstance, twice is a coincidence and three times is enemy action’.
This means hurting you once could be a mistake, but more than that is no longer a mistake and it is gradually becoming a choice, and this is a choice you should not put up with.
Does he feel bad for hurting you?
Then he tries not to repeat it.
He is intentional about it not making it happen again because love is kind, love is patient, love does not insist in his way especially when it hurts you.
Love is not proud to apologise when wrong, and love does not dishonor but protects
And this includes your feelings as well.
A man who loves you will show genuine remorse and repentance when he hurt you.
You can’t claim to love someone and hurt them over and over again.