How do you identify the Signs He Is A Player In Disguise?
Seems like you’ve been so blinded by love that you won’t see his game.
But don’t worry, I’m here to help.
If he’s a player in disguise, this blog post will help you understand better and even help you make an informed decision going forward.
16 Signs He Is A Player In Disguise
If you’re a romantic, it can be hard to not get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new and falling for them.
But if you’ve been hurt before, or just have a sense that your new boo might be more of a player than a keeper, these subtle signs could help you figure out what’s going on.
So you won’t waste time on someone who isn’t as serious about you as you are about him.
1. He’s super into his phone.
It’s normal to check your phone sometimes, but if he seems more focused on the screen than he is on anything else around him, he might not be totally present with you.
If he has to take every call and answer every text during your date, he’s probably giving someone else more attention than she’s giving you.
2. He always has an excuse when things don’t go according to plan.
Players are all about making plans… but not so much about following through on them.
If it seems like every time you want to see him, something comes up for him and he has to cancel or reschedule, it may mean he isn’t really focused on making things work with you.
3. He’s been cagey about his past.
He won’t talk about his past.
If you’ve been dating for a while and he still won’t open up about his past, it’s likely because he’s hiding something.
What could he be covering up?
Maybe he dated lots of women in the past as opposed to just one or two.
Or maybe he was married before.
Someone who is truly available would have no problem talking about their romantic history.
Men who are players in disguise are often cagey when it comes to sharing anything personal with their dates.
They might lie outright or they might be misleading, but as long as you’re willing to play along with the charade, they’ll keep sweeping you off your feet and stringing you along.
It’s not until after you get serious that the red flags start popping up all over the place and making themselves known—at which point it will become clear what kind of man this has always been: a player in disguise.
Someone who wanted a relationship but didn’t want to make the effort necessary to obtain one until much later on down the road.
4. He has no relationship role models.
If he doesn’t have any positive role models, that could be a problem.
Maybe his parents have a loveless relationship or they fought a lot when he was growing up and now they’re divorced.
He may have never had an older brother who knew how to date right or his best friend is a single guy who sleeps around too much.
Maybe he has never had a long-term relationship before yours and you two were the first people to teach one another about love.
Whatever the case, if he doesn’t have anyone in his life who can teach him how to love someone well, it’ll be tough for him to really know what he’s doing with you.
5. He’s a fitness freak.
The guy who is a player will be very into his appearance and body, but in a way that is over the top.
It’s one thing to take care of yourself, but another to go overboard at the gym and post shirtless pics on Instagram.
He’s not just looking for a partner; he wants an audience as well.
A guy who loves the limelight won’t settle for many girls who are homebodies.
Players want someone they can show off, someone they can talk about how much they love their bodies with.
6. His eyes wander, even when you’re both in conversation.
He barely looks at you when you’re both in conversation.
If a guy is only interested in having sex with you, he’s not going to waste his time looking deeply into your eyes for any reason.
His wandering eyes will leave you feeling like the third wheel while he checks out every girl that passes by, and your feelings will be the last thing on his mind.
Once again, this is because he’s only interested in getting a quick lay from you.
He doesn’t care about having an emotional connection with you or what your interests are.
All that matters to him is making sure you sleep with him and then moving on to the next woman.
If a man cares about having an actual relationship with you, it will be evident in his body language and connection with you.
7. He doesn’t have female friends.
He doesn’t have female friends.
It’s possible that a guy may not have any female friends because he simply isn’t interested in having any.
Also, they may be too busy with their own girlfriends to forge platonic bonds.
However, there are some men who use the excuse of not being interested in women as friends to disguise the fact that they’re players.
If your man says he doesn’t have or want female friends because he simply prefers the company of men, it could be a sign that he is hiding things about his love life from you.
8. He likes to party, but not where people know who he is.
He likes to party sometimes—like, at regular parties—but he’d rather do it alone than with real people who might ask questions that he doesn’t want to be answered or reveal things about his personal life that he’d rather keep private.
He’s a bit of a sneak—he’ll change his name, his looks, and even his personality if he thinks it’ll help him get you in bed with him.
He does this because he knows that when it comes to getting what he wants from a woman, the last thing she needs is for him to be honest about who he really is.
He knows that if you know who he really is, you won’t have time for him anymore because he’s so obviously not worth your time or attention.
He doesn’t mind if you find out later on down the road that he’s actually not only a total stranger to most people who know him well enough to understand how awful his personality really is; he actually gets off on ruining relationships by using them as an excuse to make up lies about himself so women will stay away from him once they realize how much of a creep he really is.
9. When things are going well, he cuts and runs.
He disappears for days or weeks at a time.
It’s impossible to build any kind of relationship when he has one foot out the door.
If there are no phone calls, messages or contact in general for extended periods of time, you may as well chalk this up to a hard pass.
He doesn’t do anything to fix the problem when you confront him about being MIA.
If you’re in a serious relationship with someone who just goes off the grid without warning, and it bothers you enough that you talk about it, his response should be: “I’m sorry that happened—it will never happen again.”
If he doesn’t apologize or change his behaviour, it’s clear that whatever was happening must have been more important than what went down between the two of you.
10. He’s chivalrous, but not gallant.
He plays the part of a gentleman.
But he’s not a gentleman.
It’s all in the small things, and pay attention to who he treats with respect and who he doesn’t.
He may hold open doors for you, pull out your chair, and let you enter first…but does he do this for everyone?
Or just the people he finds attractive?
This is where gallant comes in (and not necessarily chivalry).
A man can be chivalrous toward any woman, but when a guy is gallant, it means that his acts of courtliness are directed solely at one person.
11. Your conversations don’t go anywhere meaningful.
You’re telling him about your recent promotion at work when he suddenly, and without warning, switches topics to the time that his ex-girlfriend, Monica, stood him up for dinner.
He tells you how Monica never liked any of his friends and had a terrible personality.
You offer a sympathetic smile and try to change the topic back to your promotion, but he cuts you off.
Now he’s talking about how Monica was always so high maintenance and things just didn’t work out with her because she’s not who she used to be.
This conversation is going nowhere fast; if it hasn’t already done a 180-degree turn away from what you were saying, you raise an eyebrow quizzically as your date spews out more details about Monica’s past relationships.
Something feels off.
Maybe it’s time to ask yourself: “Is this guy really into me or is he only using me as a rebound?”
12. His online dating profile is still active after a few months of dating.
He’s still on Tinder.
If you’ve been together for a few months, there should be no reason he still has his dating accounts active.
If they are, it’s likely because he’s not serious about you or he doesn’t want to be in a relationship at all.
If the two of you were dating casually and then something changed — like an exclusive commitment — then it may be time for him to delete his profile.
He uses Facebook as his main source of communication with you.
When a guy is serious about having a relationship with a woman, he will show up where she is, so he can get to know her.
Using social media as the primary means of communicating and planning dates isn’t going to cut it if your goal is more than just hanging out once in a while.
13. He pays lip service to your needs but doesn’t act on them.
He’ll tell you he wants commitment, but then he’ll do things like cancel plans with you at the last minute, or take hours to respond to your text messages.
He might even admit that he himself doesn’t know what he wants and needs some time to think.
Whatever his excuse may be, it’s clear that his actions don’t match up with his words.
14. He’s always been on the receiving end of bad luck (at least according to him).
While he’s with you, he may seem like the most apologetic guy in the world, always willing to take responsibility for his actions.
But when things are over with him and you ask anybody who ever knew him, they’ll tell you a different story.
Usually, they’ll talk about how he was always on the receiving end of bad luck—never at fault for any of his bad relationships.
He’s the type who takes credit for things he didn’t do and blames others for things that weren’t their fault.
He thinks it makes him seem like a nice guy because if it wasn’t his fault, then he won’t feel guilty about it.
Nonetheless, being on the receiving end of all this bad luck is exhausting. You’re better off without him and all his “bad luck.”
15. He won’t respond to your calls or texts.
When you’re interested in someone, you’ll want to stay in constant contact with them.
But if you’re into a guy who always makes excuses when it comes to texting or calling you back, there’s a possibility that he’s just not into you.
If his busy schedule is always the issue that keeps him away from the phone, then maybe it’s time for both of you to move on and find better things to do with your time.
16. You will never meet his family and friends.
If he is not interested in introducing you to his loved ones, he may be a player.
He may not even have any close friends or family members in the first place.
He doesn’t have them over to his house, because that would mean you might see them.
You don’t know what they look like, because he’s never posted a picture of them on social media.
The player won’t be bothered about introducing you to his parents, but if he is really a good guy and wants to take your relationship further, then he will want you to meet them too.
By knowing the warning signs of a player before you get too attached, you can save yourself from getting hurt and losing your dignity all at once.
So, what is the point? Trust your instincts when deciding whether or not you can trust a man.
If he seems to be consistently late and does nothing about it, returns your messages hours later but expects you to respond immediately, spends more time with friends than you yet still wants you to spend all your time with him, and many other parts of his life don’t add up, then he might just be a player in disguise.
He’ll dump you when, after giving him all the benefits of the doubt, he realizes he doesn’t have to worry about you because you will accept his behaviour as normal and thus continue this endless cycle.