The unmistakable signs he never loved you at all will save you heartbreak down the road.
Okay, so you think he’s the one. You adore him and are planning to spend the rest of your life with him.
But as time passes by, some questions begin to arise in your head.
Do you really love him? Has he ever truly loved you?
Well, in order to answer these questions, you first need to know if he ever loved you at all.
15 Signs He Never Loved You At All
1. He has never met your family.
The person you’re dating should want to spend time with your family.
Whether that’s because he genuinely likes them or because he respects how important they are to you, this is a sign of a man who wants to move the relationship forward.
If your boyfriend has no interest in meeting your parents or siblings, it might be because he isn’t as sold on the relationship as fully as you are.
That’s not to say it’s wrong to date someone who hasn’t met your family yet—he may just be nervous about the idea, overwhelmed by his own family issues, or waiting for things to feel more serious between the two of you before having two big parts of his life meet and collide.
But if there doesn’t seem to be any movement toward meeting them (or if meeting them means introductions at a bar), despite ample opportunities and encouragement from you, this is worth noting down on your list of warning signs.
2. When he says I love you, it sounds awkward.
I’m going to say some things that are true, so you know what I’m talking about. I don’t always say “I love you” back, because a lot of people don’t.
And I might be saying it because he thinks you want to hear it, or he wants to sleep with you, or he’s used to saying it.
Technically speaking, the word “love” is defined as an intense feeling of caring for someone. If that’s how words like “care”, “feel”, and “like” work too, then there’s no reason why this phrase shouldn’t fall under those definitions too…
Just in case anybody reads this and uses the word in a sentence: stop!
That’s not how anyone actually talks!
3. He doesn’t take you into consideration.
If your guy doesn’t think about you, your feelings, your needs, or even what you want, it means he’s not thinking about his relationship at all. If he can’t see you as an equal partner in the relationship, he’s probably not thinking about how his actions and feelings affect yours.
A man who knows how to love a woman considers her as a person and attempts to be the best partner he can be.
He doesn’t ignore her wishes or her needs. He takes into consideration both of your lives and tries to find ways that make sense for both of you.
A man who would rather hang out with his friends instead of spending time with you is not loving.
Someone who only sees someone else as an object also isn’t loving them at all; they may simply be using them to get what they want without considering their feelings or well-being at all!
They may even take advantage because they know there won’t be any consequences for their actions since this other person doesn’t have any value outside of what they bring them sexually (or whatever it might be).
Someone who never thinks about how their words and actions will affect others is also unloving towards them because it shows that no matter how much pain these people feel from something that happened yesterday—it still wouldn’t change anything today!
4. He still talks to his ex.
He still talks to his ex.
There’s no getting around it: the two of you are not on an equal footing. You’re probably good friends with some people from your past, but they’re not in a relationship with you.
Therefore, they don’t have the same level of access or influence in your life that your boyfriend does. If he is still talking to his ex regularly and confiding in her about things he hasn’t even told you yet, this is a major indication that he may still be harbouring feelings for her and/or has chosen her as the one he wants to be with long-term.
In either case, if those circumstances cause problems (i.e., friction) between you and him or lead to significant discomfort or unhappiness on your part, it’s time to consider ending the relationship because there are likely deeper issues at play than simply being friends with an old flame.
5. His family doesn’t know about you.
Does he never talk about his family or introduce you to any of his relatives?
Has he never invited you over for a family function?
If so, it’s not a great sign. These are relationships that most people are pretty close to.
As such, it may be the case that your relationship isn’t as important to him as you thought—or that he doesn’t love you in the way you want him to.
Of course, there could also be other reasons why he’s holding back from giving you this information about his life.
Maybe his parents are very strict and prohibited him from getting into a relationship until college.
Or maybe he just feels embarrassed by them and wants to focus on spending time with you alone instead of having them around when he’s with you.
That being said, if meeting your boyfriend’s parents is something that’s important to you, then make sure to have an open conversation with him where each of your needs can be discussed.
5. You just don’t feel like the most important person in his life.
You may have reached a point where you’ve realized he just doesn’t care about your opinion.
Even if he doesn’t notice, this does not bode well for your relationship.
You can try to rationalize it by saying things like, “He’s just busy with work” or “He’s got an important project coming up and needs to focus,” but the truth is, if he really loves you, he’ll find time for you no matter what.
If he never shows appreciation for you or makes an effort to do anything nice for you and constantly puts other things ahead of you on his priority list, then his feelings probably aren’t as strong as they should be.
And if that’s the case, maybe it’s not the right relationship for either of you—and it’s time to move on in your life without him.
6. All of your special moments are at home.
You have never been to his house.
Neither has he been to yours.
You have spent countless nights in your apartment, even in the same bed, but for some reason, he’s never actually seen your home.
When you asked him about it, he said that it didn’t matter, that what mattered was how you felt about each other.
He has never taken you out to dinner.
Even when you were celebrating a year of dating, there was no fancy meal at a nice restaurant with candles and flowers and all that romantic stuff people do on their dates (you saw it all in cute pictures on Instagram).
Instead of spending an evening together somewhere else, you just stayed at home and ate pasta (that he cooked himself!!) with wine (he poured it into glasses!) while watching Netflix (with him!).
It was great!
He is so cute!
He doesn’t want to go out with you because he is afraid to be seen with you in public places where there are other people who might see him and ask who this girl is because she looks really pretty.
He won’t tell them anything because then they will know he cheated and then his wife would find out and divorce him since she can also read signs very well and knows exactly what her husband does behind her back (namely cheating on her).
7. He doesn’t want to know what’s going on with you.
He doesn’t want to know what’s going on with you.
If he never asks about your day, ideas, or thoughts, but instead spends every second talking about himself and his interests, that’s a major sign that he doesn’t love you.
Love is a two-way street.
If you feel like your partner is constantly taking and never giving, it might be time to have a conversation or reassess this relationship.
8. He never plans anything nice for you.
He never plans anything nice for you.
This one is a sign that he doesn’t love you, but it could also be a sign that he just has no ambition or creativity.
If he can’t think of anything to do with you on the weekends besides smoking weed and watching movies in his bedroom, then he’s either a stoned loser who lacks any kind of drive, or someone who’s just not that into you and not putting in any effort.
In either case, you should probably start looking for another dude because it’s only a matter of time before this one gets boring (or starts getting weird).
You deserve to be wooed! He should be planning dates and surprises.
And if he ever does plan something nice for you, then make sure it includes something other than sex, because otherwise, I’m pretty sure that counts as prostitution.
He should be making an effort to make you feel special.
If he truly loves you, then everything about him needs to scream “you are amazing.”
The way he looks at you should make your heart melt.
The way his hands hold yours should feel like magic.
The sound of his voice when it says your name should make all your troubles disappear—and if none of that sounds familiar, then chances are there’s no love making its way from his heart to yours.
9. You feel like something is wrong, but he doesn’t notice.
If you’re in a relationship where something feels off, you may be wondering what it means.
Sure, he could be busy at work or struggling with his own problems.
But if he doesn’t know how to comfort you when you need him to, or if he’s always too wrapped up in himself to listen to your problems, it might be time to rethink the relationship.
Maybe your friends have noticed that something is wrong and have asked about it.
You can’t quite put your finger on why the situation weirds you out—you just feel uneasy whenever he’s around lately.
He doesn’t notice these things like a normal partner would—he doesn’t ask what’s wrong, but instead expects that everything is okay because nothing is overtly wrong in front of him.
10. You don’t have the urge to share things with him anymore.
Why is this a sign that he never loved you?
When you’re in a relationship, you want to share everything with your partner — the good, the bad and the ugly.
And, it works both ways. You and your partner should be interested in each other’s lives.
If your gut says that he isn’t taking anything you tell him seriously or if you feel like he isn’t listening to you, then that is a big red flag because this means that there is no longer any communication between the two of you.
If anything, it feels like he doesn’t even care what happens to your life!
It’s impossible for something good to come out of a relationship where there’s no communication.
What ends up happening is that one person ends up resenting the other which leads to creating even more distance between them.
11. He makes you feel like a sexual object, not a partner.
A partner who truly loves you will always want to respect you and your boundaries, while someone who is not in love with you may push those boundaries or make you feel uncomfortable, especially when it comes to sex.
This is a clear sign that he does not love you. Some examples of this include but are not limited to:
- He pressures you into doing sexual acts that [you’re] not comfortable with.
- He does not care about your boundaries or desires and ignores them unless they align perfectly with his own desires.
- He doesn’t listen to your needs or respect your opinions on matters related to sex and relationships—especially if they contradict what he wants or believes.
12. He makes jokes about your relationship at your expense, and not in a joking way either.
If your partner is constantly making jokes that undermine the value of your relationship and/or you as an individual, they are not emotionally mature enough to be in a committed relationship.
If they can’t view you as someone worth taking seriously in general (and not just when it’s time to get serious) then it isn’t a healthy environment for you to be in.
It’s normal for people who are early on in their relationships to make jokes about it, but if these jokes make you question whether or not he actually cares about the relationship at all, that’s a serious red flag.
It could just mean he needs some more time to adjust, but it also could mean he doesn’t actually want to be with you at all.
Either way, if this is how he makes jokes about your relationship now, things will only get worse from here.
13. He always asks for help with things but never volunteers to help you out when you need it.
You’re never far from your partner when they need something, but they don’t return the favour.
They never offer to help you out, even when you ask them to do so. He only helps if he is asked directly by you.
But when you need something? Crickets.
You can’t help but feel like if he really loved you, he would know that this is something that would make you happy and just do it naturally.
14. There is always an excuse as to why he can’t meet your friends and family.
If he constantly has excuses as to why your family and friends should never meet, something is definitely wrong.
Making an effort to spend time with the people you love is a sign of respect for their relationship with you, and not making time for that indicates he doesn’t care enough about them.
When someone loves you, they will want to be included in all aspects of your life – especially the important ones. When they show signs of being distant from those who are close to you, it’s a sign they don’t want anything serious with you.
This could also mean he wants to keep his options open so that if things go south with you, it won’t affect his friendships and other relationships.
This means he isn’t really serious about the relationship.
15. You’ve seen him be charming and nice around other people, but once he’s alone with you, it’s back to his usual sullen self again.
You’ve seen him be charming and nice around other people, but once he’s alone with you, it’s back to his usual sullen self again.
Whether it’s a friend of the family or the cashier at the grocery store, whenever he’s forced to interact with someone else, your partner turns on the charm and behaves as though they were members of his beloved inner circle.
It can be dizzying to see him behave so affectionately towards others while he barely says two words to you in a day.
Being around someone who acts differently depending on their audience is similar to being around an actor who just can’t turn off their stage persona when they’re not performing.
It’s exhausting for everyone involved, and it definitely doesn’t make for a healthy relationship.
If your partner never shows any public display of affection or respect towards you despite acting friendly around everyone else, this is definitely a red flag that he may not love you as much as you might like to think.