What are the signs he will never forgive you?
Maintaining a healthy relationship requires effort from both partners.
When a mistake is made, whether big or small, the ability to forgive and move on is crucial to the longevity of the relationship.
However, there are situations where forgiveness may not be possible, and the relationship may be irreparably damaged.
If you find yourself wondering if your boyfriend will ever forgive you for something you’ve done, here are 12 signs that he may not.
They are very quick and short points and may help you know the next step to take in deciding the fate of the relationship.
Also, there’s a section to know what to do and you may find that very useful for yourself.
12 Signs He Will Never Forgive You
1. He avoids you:
If you have wronged your boyfriend and he is consciously avoiding spending time with you or making excuses not to be around you it may be a sign that he is not over the hurt caused him.
It doesn’t matter if it has been for a long time or if it just happened.
It may just be that he’s holding a grudge against you and finding it difficult to let go or forgive you.
2. He ignores your attempts to communicate:
After a misunderstanding with your boyfriend, it is normal for communication to be strained.
In the instance where you’re trying to reach out to your boyfriend to apologise or discuss the situation and he ignores your attempts, it may be a sign that he has not forgiven you.
If this goes on for longer than expected, it is established that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you again.
3. He criticizes you constantly:
There’s always room for constructive criticism in any relationship.
But in this instance, if your boyfriend comes up to be overly criticizing especially since you had your issue it may be a sign that he has not forgiven you.
He may be holding a grudge and finding it difficult to let go or get over the situation.
4. He brings up the situation frequently:
If you find yourself in a situation where you have wronged your boyfriend and he claims to have forgiven you but keeps on bringing up the situation at any given instance then you can be sure that he has not truly forgiven you.
If your boyfriend brings up the situation that caused the conflict frequently, it may be a sign that he is unable to move past it and forgive you.
5. He doesn’t want to talk about the situation:
When you get to a point where you want to talk about the situation that is the cause of the conflict, but he refuses to discuss it, it may be a sign that he is unable to forgive you.
Sometimes he may get all defensive about it.
Look out for the signs and be sure not to be insensitive especially if he is deeply hurt about your actions.
6. He acts distant:
We all have different reactions to situations.
Some may act coldly, while some can be violent.
For your boyfriend, he might just lose touch with you and not be able to establish any form of communication or intimacy.
If he has become distant or uninterested in the relationship after the conflict, it may be a sign that he is unable to forgive you and move on.
7. He talks about the situation with others:
If you find out your boyfriend has been out discussing your current situation with others and seeking advice, it may be a sign that he is struggling to forgive you and needs a third party to help process his feelings.
Sometimes, men do this not because they do not want to forgive but because they do not want to be perceived as weak for forgiving.
At other times, they do this because they are really finding it difficult to forgive.
At this point, it is up to you to know why he is doing it.
8. He is passive-aggressive:
You find out that your boyfriend is being passive-aggressive towards you, it is because that is the only way he can express his anger.
He’d rather not hit you.
As a result, he chooses the passive-aggressive mode to express himself.
9. He is resentful:
After a misunderstanding, and you find out that your boyfriend is resentful towards you, it’s a sign that he’s unable to forgive you and move on.
The resentment is so obvious that it might even affect other parts of your life
You’ll have to walk on eggshells around him so as not to push him.
When it gets to this point just know that he will not be able to forgive you.
10. He withholds affection:
Withholding affection from your partner is a sign of an emotional grudge.
A man who withdraws from you after making amends is not willing to forgive you.
If he avoids intimacy with you or you noticed an obvious struggle, then he may not be able to forgive you.
11. He is overly critical of himself:
If your boyfriend is overly critical of himself and takes responsibility for the situation it may be a sign that he is blaming himself for the conflict.
He may be too engrossed to see beyond himself and even go hard on himself thereby finding it hard to forgive him and yourself.
When a man is overly critical of himself, forgiveness is not even an option because the situation becomes a burden to him.
12. He ends the relationship:
When your boyfriend ends the relationship after a conflict, it is a sign that he is unable to forgive you and move on.
It may also be a sign that he sees no future in the relationship and does not want to hold on for so long after.
If you recognize any of the signs mentioned above, that your boyfriend may never forgive you, it is important to have an open and honest conversation with him to try and address the situation if he is willing.
Here are some steps you can take:
1. Acknowledge the situation:
The first step to every resolution of a conflict is acknowledging the situation.
Accept that there is an issue to be addressed as well as your role in the breakdown.
Start the conversation by acknowledging that there is an issue and that you understand that your actions have caused the hurt.
Take responsibility for your actions and offer a sincere apology.
Make sure your apology is specific to the situation and shows that you understand the impact of your actions.
Don’t make pseudo apologies by justifying or giving reasons for your actions.
3. Listen to his perspective:
Allow him to express his feelings and thoughts on the situation.
Listen to him attentively and don’t let your own emotions get in the way by getting all defensive.
4. Take action:
After the above steps, the next thing to focus on is what you can do to right the wrong.
Offer a solution or a plan to prevent similar situations from happening in the future.
Take responsibility for making things right and follow through on your promises by committing to them wholly.
5. Be patient:
Don’t expect an immediate comeback.
Forgiveness takes time, and it may not happen overnight.
Be patient and allow your boyfriend the space and time he needs to process his feelings and move towards forgiveness.
6. Seek outside help:
If you feel that you need help working through the situation, consider seeking the assistance of a therapist or counsellor.
They can offer guidance and support as you work through the conflict and try to repair the relationship.
Ultimately, whether or not your boyfriend forgives you is up to him.
All you can do is take responsibility for your actions, apologize sincerely, and make a genuine effort to repair the relationship if he is on the same page with you on that.