Studies have proven that what has led to the breakdown of many marriages today are very minute things people often do not pay attention to.
The kind of things you say to your wife as a married man is one of these things.
Sometimes, you have used these words or phrases so much that they begin to seem normal and unharmful, but a closer look will show you that they are eating up your marriage bit by bit and will soon consume it.
You must be careful to identify these things and make sure you never say them to your wife.
In this article, we have outlined 10 of such words/phrases.
Let’s consider them together.
10 Things a Married Man Should Never Say to His Wife
1. “You’re just like your mother.”
This statement can be a compliment – especially if her mother is such a great woman, but is it really necessary?
Drawing comparisons between your wife and her mother can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
Every woman wants to be her own person and would want nothing more than to have her husband see and recognize her for who she is.
When you compare her with her mother, even with the best interests, you may come off as critical and insensitive.
Embrace her uniqueness and love her for it.
2. “Why can’t you be more like [someone else]?”
If you truly want your wife to be like someone else, why not marry them instead?
Comparing your wife to others and verbally expressing your desire for her to be like them not only makes her feel inadequate and unappreciated, it also messes with her mental and emotional health.
Everyone fails in different ways, and everyone has their inadequacies.
In fact, if you go closer to the people you expect your wife to be like, you may find out that she is better off than them.
Instead of highlighting perceived flaws, focus on her strengths and the qualities that drew you to her in the first place.
The people you’re admiring outside, you’re doing so because someone is highlighting their strengths and beauty.
You can do the same for your wife.
3. “You’re overreacting.”
Your wife’s concerns are valid, and so are her feelings.
And because you are her husband, she must share them with you.
Dismissing her feelings as an overreaction can make her feel like you are invalidating her emotions.
Even when it seemingly does not make sense, It’s important to listen and empathize with her perspective.
And if you must point out the flaws in her perception, do it with softness and gentleness.
This will make her trust you deeply and keep coming to you with her concerns, including the ones you don’t completely understand or agree with.
4. “You always…” or “You never…”
It’s understandable that your wife has some habits that you would rather she didn’t, and trying to get her to stop them can be really frustrating.
Also, there are some things you want her to do that she doesn’t.
When talking about these things, especially in argument, using absolutes like “always” and “never” will only escalate the argument and paint a negative picture of her to others present.
Women are not really hard to convince.
Address these issues with gentleness and without making sweeping generalizations.
It’ll be easier to convince her to get those things done or do away with those habits if you are gentle with her than if you are always hard on her.
5. “I don’t care.”
If you don’t care about your wife, you probably should not be married to her in the first place.
But your wife should be your most important person.
Your best friend.
She has concerns, desires, and ambitions- if she is not sharing them with you, she’s probably sharing them with someone else.
And the reason she is not sharing them with you may be the fact that she once did, but you disregarded it.
Telling your wife that you don’t care about something she’s passionate about can hurt her and cause unnecessary troubles in your marriage.
Even if it’s not your interest, show support and willingness to engage in conversations about her hobbies, concerns, and ideas for the sake of love and peace.
6. “It’s not a big deal.”
If it is a big deal for your wife, then it really is a big deal.
Because you have grown past the level of seeing the problem as a big deal is not a justification to wave off her concerns.
Minimizing something that’s important to her will only make her feel like you do not place importance on her or you do not listen to her.
If it bothers her, take it seriously and offer a listening ear.
Go the extra mile by suggesting possible solutions or taking action on it yourself.
7. “You’re being too sensitive.”
Women are naturally sensitive and emotional beings.
You can’t take it from them, and you can’t also expect them to throw it away just because you are not comfortable with it.
Whether you like it or yes, because you are married to her, you must make provisions to accommodate her sensitivity.
Invalidating your wife’s emotions by labeling them as overly sensitive can create distance between you.
If she decides to shut off, you may wish you allowed her to express herself.
Instead of shutting her out, ask her to share her feelings and reassure her that her emotions are valid.
8. “Let me handle this; you wouldn’t understand.”
Women may be the weaker vessels, but you would be shocked at how much they can handle if given the opportunity.
In fact, they handle some situations better than a man would, proffering solutions that you wouldn’t have thought of.
Assuming that your wife wouldn’t comprehend certain matters is just condescending.
Pushing her away when you are faced with challenges is not only hurtful, but it also shows your lack of trust in her abilities.
Respect her intelligence and involve her in decisions that affect both you, your wife, and your marriage.
9. “I told you so.”
Yes, you told her.
Maybe you even warned her against it.
But is it necessary to reiterate it at a time when she is already hurting?
It may feel like a win when it happens that something you warned her against turned out as you predicted, and you may feel the need to highlight the fact that you had a better opinion, but it isn’t necessary.
At that time, it is glaring that you are the better man, and she is probably hurting or sulking from her bad decision.
Instead of being more concerned about who was right or wrong, offer support and help her find solutions and a way out.
10. “We don’t have to talk about it again.”
During conversations, it is not out of place for you to require your wife’s full attention and engagement.
However, she may get distracted during the conversation and do something that pisses you off.
But that should always inform your decision to end the conversation, especially when it’s on serious matters that involve the well-being of your marriage.
Closing the door on conversations prematurely would only culminate unresolved issues and fresh ones.
When things like that happen during your conversations, express your displeasure concerning it, have your wife apologize, and continue with the former conversation.
Healthy communication always helps to strengthen the pillars of the marriage and ensure both partners are on the same page.
In a marriage, words have the power to heal, connect, and strengthen.
Similarly, they have the power to wound, break up, destroy, and weaken.
Knowing this, you must be careful with the phrases you use in conversations with your wife.
Avoiding the above-listed phrases in your conversations with your wife will help you create more beauty in your marriage and make room for honest and respectful communication where there isn’t any fear of judgment or being shut off.
As a married man, you can nurture a deeper bond with your wife by being gentle with her, listening to her concerns, and creating accommodation for her excesses.
Every strong marriage is built on understanding, empathy, and a willingness by the couple to continually improve the way they communicate with each other.