Breaking up is never easy, but it never marks the end of the world for couples.
Many things happen to couples after break up.
Some people go their different ways to find their healing, others stay as friends with benefits, and very few others stay as just friends.
When your ex suggests staying friends, it is very natural to be perplexed at the first instance, following that it is such an emotional decision to make.
You might wonder why they want to maintain a connection after the romantic relationship has ended.
In this article, we will explore eight of the common reasons your ex wants to be friends.
8 Common Reasons Your Ex Wants to Be Friends
1. Emotional Attachment
The bond of lovers can be likened to a habit.
The longer it is, the more difficult it is to break.
Oftentimes, lovers hurt themselves in ways that seem unforgivable and unbearable, and because of this hurt, the relationship can be broken.
There are several other reasons why a relationship between lovers is called off, but it is noteworthy, however, that the end of the relationship doesn’t always equal the severing of the bond between them.
Many times, lovers find that even after they have broken up with their ex, they are still as strongly attached to them as it was when they were actively in the relationship.
This is one of the primary reasons your ex may want to remain friends with you.
The value they place on your companionship shared memories, and the bond you both developed during the relationship may be one they are not ready to lose.
So they decide to maintain the friendship with the hope that they can preserve these connections.
Compatibility is one word that is most frequently used in romantic relationships.
It is often said to be the quality of being well-suited for a degree of similarity or agreement in terms of characteristics, interests, values, or objectives between two people.
Many relationships meet their premature end because the couples are not “compatible” with each other.
In fact, it is among the top five reasons people end their relationship with the ones they love.
While many people are searching for the one they are compatible with, people who have found theirs try as much as possible to keep them.
If situations arise where they have to break up, your ex might want to hold on to the compatibility factor to maintain the friendship between you two.
Those common interests, values, or hobbies that made you both great companions can still endear them to you even if the relationship ended on the wrong foot.
They may genuinely enjoy your company and want to continue enjoying it in a platonic way.
3. Mutual Friends
It is always a super awkward situation when people couples who broke up and are not on talking terms meet in the midst of their mutual friends.
That feeling of not knowing whether to say hello or not.
Or ghosting each other while talking to others.
And in such situations, before they leave the gathering, the ex-couple always either ends up talking to each other or getting angrier than they were with each other.
If you and your ex share a social circle or have many mutual friends, they might prefer to remain friends to avoid all that awkwardness and unnecessary drama in group settings.
This can be especially true if you both value the same friendships and want to maintain a sense of normalcy.
If it’s a social circle or organization, one person may decide to leave rather than groom the friendship.
But if it’s just that you both have lots of mutual friends, it is almost insane to want to unfriend your friends because of one relationship.
Remaining friends in this kind of situation is often the best option.
4. Unfinished Business
Some romantic partners go beyond just being romantic partners.
Some are business partners, colleagues in school, office, etc.
Sometimes, they may be working on a project together.
They probably met themselves in these other businesses before they became romantic partners.
Even though there are couples who just decide to go into something together after the commencement of their relationship.
Not all breakups come as a result of hurts or the undoing of a partner.
Sometimes, people break up because of external factors, such as timing or personal issues.
In this kind of situation, your ex may believe that you both can still work together to achieve or complete your unfinished business(es).
And in order to maintain a harmonious flow through working together, he may decide that you both remain friends.
5. Support System
A support system is a network of people, resources, or structures that provide emotional, practical, or social assistance to someone in times of need or challenge.
It offers a source of comfort, advice, encouragement, and help to help individuals cope with difficulties or achieve their goals.
Sometimes, one individual can be a paramount player in a person’s support system.
And you may have been that one person for your ex during the relationship.
Someone who was always there, helping them go through challenges and providing the resources they need to achieve their goals.
With the belief that they won’t find another person who would play the role so efficiently, they might want to continue having you as a confidant or someone they can turn to for emotional support, even if it’s in a non-romantic capacity.
6. Genuine Care and Concern
Another reason people break up is the presence of health challenges.
It may be physical, emotional, or mental health challenges.
These challenges arise sometimes in a partner’s life and can be so severe that it results in the calling off of the relationship.
When this happens, the other partner in the relationship may desire to remain friends out of genuine care and concern for the sick partner’s well-being.
It can also be a way to prove the fact that they genuinely love and are interested in being with you despite the challenges.
It’ll make them feel good to be around you, ensuring that you are okay after the breakup, and offer their friendship as a means of support.
7. Future Possibilities
Some people are die-hard holders of their beliefs.
Once they believe in something, it’ll take the whole world to change their minds and turn their heart towards a different course.
Your ex may believe you are the one he will spend his life with and that a strong foundation of friendship can lead to healthier and more successful romantic relationships in the future.
Even when you may have clearly lost interest in him and the relationship, it won’t change his belief.
So he may request that you stay friends as a way to keep the possibility of rekindling the romance open down the line.
8. No Hard Feelings
People often say and believe that it is impossible to stay just friends with someone who you have been in a relationship with.
There’s always the idea that you may be in a friends with benefits relationship or not be friends at all.
But there are many people who were actually friends before they became romantic partners.
And for one reason or the other, they had to end the romantic relationship.
In this case, their breakup is usually relatively amicable- an agreement between two of them, and both parties understand and accept the reasons for ending the relationship.
Your ex may genuinely want to maintain a positive connection to show you that he bears no hard feelings.
Remember that whether or not you choose to be friends with your ex should align with your own emotional comfort and boundaries.
If you still have strong romantic feelings or believe that maintaining a friendship would be emotionally challenging, it’s perfectly acceptable to communicate these concerns.
Ultimately, the decision to be friends with an ex should be based on what feels right for you and your emotional well-being.