The signs he has multiple partners are not always obvious.
In fact, some women are so blinded by love that they do not see what is right in front of them.
If you have any doubts about your man’s fidelity, take a look at the following signs that indicate he may have other lovers.
11 Signs He Has Multiple Partners
1. Doesn’t want to be seen in public.
Doesn’t want to be seen in public.
If you’ve been seeing your guy for a couple of weeks and still haven’t gone out on the town with him, you may wonder what’s going on.
Is he just not that into you?
Or does he have an aversion to interacting with humanity in general?
After all, you’re not even sure if he exists.
It could be that your guy doesn’t want to be seen in public (at least, not with you).
Perhaps he and his other partners have agreed they won’t be seen together; after all, they don’t know if any of them are involved with other partners as well.
But it could also be that your man simply isn’t interested in being seen with you at all, or only wants to spend time alone or at his place or yours.
If he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want to go anywhere where other people might recognize him—or worse, see the two of you together—it could be a sign of deeper issues than just wanting some privacy.
2. Very secretive with his phone, computer, and social media accounts.
If the absence of relationship status or the unusual number of photos was enough to convince you, this sign should definitely be considered convicting.
If your partner is reluctant to allow you access to his phone, whether deleting sensitive messages and clearing his browser history before letting you use it or asking for it back when he needs to leave the room, there’s probably something he doesn’t want you to know about.
Plus, if he’s constantly on his phone—or worse yet, has two phones—he may be trying to hide some shady activity from someone special in his life.
3. Doesn’t want to be intimate with you.
Once you’ve started sleeping together, does he come up with excuses for not being intimate with you?
Does he avoid physical intimacy altogether?
This may be a sign that he is seeing other women who are fulfilling his sexual needs.
If this is the case, and he doesn’t care about having sex with you, then it’s likely that he also doesn’t care about spending time with you or cultivating a relationship.
If your partner refuses to have sex, makes excuses such as “I’m tired” or “I’m not in the mood,” and doesn’t seem interested in having another round after your first sexual encounter, then this indicates that he may be seeing other women who are sexually gratifying him on a higher level than you are.
4. Has a habit of leaving the room to take calls.
If he leaves the room while you’re on the phone, it probably means you’re talking to someone he doesn’t like. If he leaves the room when he takes a phone call, it could mean that he’s with another woman.
Or if you leave and return to find him on his cell, assuming that he wasn’t there before, then this too is a sign of cheating — especially if you have no idea who’s on the other end of the line.
5. Doesn’t trust you with his finances.
If you and your partner are not married, it’s generally a good idea to keep some aspects of your finances separate.
However, if he insists on keeping his entire financial life from you, that may be a sign that he has something to hide.
Not only does this likely mean he doesn’t want to share his spending habits with you, but it could also indicate fears about revealing assets or debts that could be connected to other partners.
Whether your relationship is serious or just getting started, opening up about money issues can do wonders for mutual trust and understanding—so don’t let him get away with pretending everything is fine if it’s not.
You deserve transparency in all parts of the relationship, including financial ones.
6. Tries too hard to explain inconsistencies in his schedule and whereabouts.
If he has multiple partners, he will likely try to explain away any inconsistencies in his story, often with convoluted and overly-detailed explanations that are hard to follow.
The more he tries to explain away these inconsistencies, the more likely it is that they are lies.
If you find yourself confused or feeling like you can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong, but something feels off, then there is probably a reason for it.
Trust yourself and your instincts. They’re usually right!
This sign is also often accompanied by a request for secrecy about the relationship—another red flag when trying to determine whether or not someone has multiple partners.
7. A lot of unexplained charges on your credit card or bank statements, or unexplained changes in your financial situation.
A lot of unexplained charges on your credit card or bank statements, or unexplained changes in your financial situation?
If this is the case for you and your partner, it may be a sign that he has a secret bank account where he’s depositing his money instead of giving it to you.
It’s possible that he’s doing it behind your back because he doesn’t want you to see how much money he spends on another woman.
Men who cheat often try to hide their spending habits from their partners.
Unexplained expenses are one of the most common signs of infidelity, so if you notice something off in these regards, pay attention.
If you suspect that this could be happening, ask him about it calmly and rationally; don’t fly into an emotional rage because then all chances of getting any answers will go out the window.
If he won’t tell you anything about what’s going on or if his explanations don’t add up, it could mean that there is something more suspicious at play here than just an extramarital affair.
8. You see strange or just plain unavailable characters showing up on his caller ID when he answers your calls (i.e.: ‘unavailable,’ etc.).
If you notice when you call him that the caller ID shows ‘unavailable’ or a name that’s definitely not him, he might be calling you from a phone other than his own.
If this is something that happens frequently, it’s possible that he has a second phone.
He could have it for any number of reasons, but if it’s a burner phone or something he keeps hidden, that means he may be trying to hide the identity of the people who are calling him.
If your calls are consistently answered by someone who isn’t your man and/or if you occasionally find yourself hearing another woman’s voice in the background when he answers your calls, one reason could be because they’re calling from his secret cell phone.
One reason why men cheat is that they want to keep their affairs on the down-low . . . and hiding those extra numbers from their wives and girlfriends can certainly help them keep things quiet.
A second option could be that he’s having problems with some of his friends or family members especially if they still live in his hometown.
It often seems as though men avoid confrontation at all costs—even if said confrontation would only consist of one person hanging up (you) after hearing another person (him) mumble ‘goodbye’ and hang up too.
Another possibility is that there are multiple women in his life who are making those calls but aren’t interested in revealing themselves to you yet—if ever.
9. Backtracks whenever he says something hurtful or rude to you.
A cheating man might backtrack whenever he says something hurtful or rude to you (or the kids).
In doing so, he may say that he didn’t mean it, that it was a misunderstanding, or try to make excuses for his actions.
He may claim that he was just joking.
He may also say that he didn’t mean it like that or in another way try to convince you that you don’t know what’s going on in his head.
When this happens, remember: Words are powerful. If your husband says something hurtful and doesn’t apologize rightly, then he is not the man for you.
If your man doesn’t care enough not to hurt those closest to him—if his words are casually cruel even if they’re well-intentioned—then it’s time to look at what’s up with him.
In most cases of a cheating man who backtracks after being rude or hurtful, an affair is likely the culprit behind these outbursts of hostility and nastiness.
The stress of dealing with an affair can turn any man into an emotional wreck who takes out his anger on everyone around him.
10. Has a sense of urgency about the relationship that is not explained by the natural progression of said relationship.
Another way that a man with multiple partners might try to keep you committed exclusively to him is by moving the relationship along faster than usual.
This can take many forms, including pressuring you to move in together or marry him, when it’s clear neither of you is ready.
If your relationship isn’t progressing naturally, and he seems to be pushing things along, there may be something else going on.
There are two main theories as to why this might be the case:
- One has to do with proximity—if you live with him or are married, it will be more difficult for his other partners to find out about each other, because they won’t be able to spy on him and see him coming home late from work too often—or from another woman’s apartment.
- The second theory is one of commitment; if he makes a serious commitment (like marriage), then he’s less likely to cheat on you because of social norms.This theory also depends on who his audience is; if he cares about how his family views commitment, then he may feel pressure not to cheat even if they don’t know what’s really going on.
11. Rarely wants to talk about the future of the relationship, but seems committed to the status quo long-term?
You’re not alone.
It’s true that for some, the concept of a future with this person can be difficult to think about when you’re just not seeing each other as much as you’d like—or perhaps at all.
For others, however, this is more of a red flag.
It could be that he’s in denial about the relationship, enjoying the status quo but somehow not ready to commit to something more permanent.
Or maybe he simply doesn’t want what you have—he wants something else, but is nervous and worried about changing things up.
In other cases, it’s easier for him to act like he doesn’t see a future with you than it is to break off the relationship completely (this is especially true if breaking up would cause problems in his personal life).
Finally, some men may simply want a stable relationship for now but are still unsure about their long-term plans; they may be happy together but feel uncertain about the prospect of taking the next step toward building a future together.