One of the major focuses of marriages is to last forever, and that’s why it’s not out of place to see marriage mottos like “A Lifetime of Love,” “Together Forever,” “The Beginning of a Forever Journey,” and so on.
Many marriages begin with the hope that it’s only death that will actually do them part.
So what accounts for the ever-increasing rate of divorce today?
So that someone vows “…till death do us part.” today at their wedding, and the next day they are dragging themselves to go part what death hasn’t parted.
Truth is, a lot of people go into marriage with a sense of illusion and wishful thinking.
They do not truly understand what it takes to build a forever marriage, and so they go into marriage unprepared and with an illusion that their love is able to make them immune to the work that marriage is.
But love or not, there is work to be done, work that must be done.
Below is a list of things I did to make my marriage happier, and I think couples can do this too to build a happy marriage that will last forever.
7 Things I Did To Make My Marriage Happier
1. Respect Each Other
One of the ways to spice up a marriage is by allowing some level of childishness and playing.
But this mustn’t overshoot boundaries to become disrespectful.
And there is an almost thin line between “I’m playing” and disrespect.
Mutual respect forms the basis of a healthy and enduring marriage.
It usually involves recognizing and valuing each other’s individuality, opinions, and boundaries.
Respecting differences and celebrating each other’s strengths contributes to a positive and supportive environment.
Of course, this can’t be achieved without ample communication.
Communication plays a key role in expressing respect, as actively listening to each other’s perspectives helps to build understanding.
In a respectful marriage, both partners feel appreciated and acknowledged, creating a sense of partnership.
This foundational element sets the stage for a lasting union built on consideration, kindness, and a genuine regard for one another.
2. Navigate Conflicts Constructively
Any ship that’s on sea and is not prepared for a storm is preparing to sink.
It’s the same thing for couples who do not prepare for conflicts; they are preparing to be taken down by them.
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how it is handled determines the health of the marriage.
Constructive conflict resolution is something every marriage must have.
Plans on how to settle conflicts must be set in place against the day of conflict.
Conflict resolution involves approaching disagreements with empathy and a focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame.
Effective communication plays a crucial role, as expressing feelings openly and actively listening to the partner’s perspective can lead to a deeper understanding.
It’s important to avoid personal attacks and instead address the issue at hand.
Address issues using “I” rather than “you.”
As couples navigate conflicts with a collaborative mindset using their conflict resolution plan, they are able to strengthen their bond and learn to grow through challenges, ensuring that their marriage becomes more resilient over time.
3. Nurture Emotional Intimacy
Emotional intimacy involves sharing thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with a sense of trust and connection.
Now, this is something that just can’t be lacking in marriage.
When couples are unable to open up to themselves, they threaten the trust and connection in the relationship.
Cultivating emotional intimacy requires creating a safe space where both partners feel comfortable expressing themselves authentically.
This involves not only sharing positive experiences but also discussing fears, dreams, and concerns openly.
Regular emotional check-ins and deep conversations help both partners understand what is going on in each of their inner worlds.
Emotional intimacy enhances the overall connection in the relationship, creating a sense of being truly known and accepted.
As couples prioritize emotional closeness, they lay the groundwork for a marriage that is not only lasting but also deeply fulfilling.
4. Keep the Romance Alive
This should probably be the first point because this is the very life of marriage.
Without romance, marriage is just friendship.
Sustaining romance in marriage is crucial for maintaining the vibrancy of a lasting marriage.
A lot of marriages begin to crash when the couples begin to trivialize their romance.
And after a while, you’d see couples living in their homes like complete strangers.
To keep the romance alive, couples must make intentional efforts to express love and appreciation regularly.
Small gestures, such as surprise notes, thoughtful gifts, or gestures of physical affection, can go a long way in keeping the romantic spark alive.
Date nights and shared experiences further nurture the romantic connection.
As couples consistently infuse romance into the relationship, they reinforce their emotional bond and create a sense of excitement and joy, essential elements for a marriage that stands the test of time.
5. Adaptability and Flexibility
One thing everyone in marriage must possess is the ability to adapt to change.
You see, change is inevitable, and it’s only a fool’s way not to expect changes in the marriage.
But adaptability is key to navigating the twists and turns that life inevitably brings to a marriage.
Life is unpredictable, and challenges will definitely arise.
Being flexible enough to accommodate changes, setbacks, or unexpected events as they come is crucial.
And if it is absent in the marriage, there’ll be a lot of disappointment and dissatisfaction from unmet expectations, causing a strain in the marriage.
Couples who embrace adaptability find it easier to weather storms together, building resilience and a sense of unity.
Flexibility in thinking and behavior allows the marriage to evolve, ensuring that it remains strong and adaptable to the ever-changing circumstances of life.
6. Shared Goals and Values
Two cannot walk together if they are not in agreement.
Even if they begin a walk together, it’ll be filled with conflicts and resentment and will be a rather brief journey.
However, aligning on shared goals and values is a fundamental aspect of building a lasting marriage.
When there is agreement concerning goals and values, couples can walk together on a lifetime journey.
Shared goals and values often involve a collaborative effort to identify and work towards common aspirations for the future.
This alignment provides a sense of direction and purpose, creating a shared roadmap for the journey ahead.
So it’s clear where they are going, and they can keep on without confusion on the way.
Shared values form the moral and ethical foundation of the relationship, ensuring that both partners are moving in sync toward a meaningful and fulfilling life together.
Establishing common goals and values helps couples strengthen their sense of unity and create a solid framework for building a lasting and purposeful marriage.
7. Continual Growth
The importance of collective and continuous growth in marriage is almost ignored.
A lasting marriage involves continual growth, both individually and as a couple.
If one person is growing and the other is stagnant, they will soon begin to feel incompatible and out of league with each other.
Encouraging personal and collective development ensures that the relationship remains dynamic and resilient.
This growth mindset includes supporting each other’s aspirations, creating and encouraging a culture of learning and exploration, and embracing change.
Couples who prioritize continual growth understand that the journey of marriage is ongoing, with new opportunities for discovery and connection.
As they grow together, they not only enrich their own lives but also nurture a marriage that thrives on shared experiences and a commitment to growing stronger with each passing day.
One thing couples must acknowledge is the fact that their marriage is different from others.
Knowing this, they must be able to walk their marriage forever using methods that best suit their uniqueness.
Trying to do their marriage based on how their neighbors do theirs or how their counselor does hers may only result in failure in marriage.
In essence, know your marriage and do what works for it.