Marriage is a sacred bond that requires effort, communication, and understanding from both partners.
While there are countless pieces of advice out there on how to have a successful marriage, not all advice is actually harmless.
In fact, some advice can be detrimental to the health and happiness of a marriage.
In this article, we’ll explore 10 pieces of advice that a married man should never adopt, as they can potentially harm the relationship and lead to unnecessary conflict
10 Pieces of Advice a Married Man Should Never Adopt
1. Keep Secrets from Your Spouse
Every marriage thrives on communication- sincere and comprehensible.
When you keep secrets from your spouse, you create a barrier between the two of you.
Secrets, whether big or small, can lead to mistrust, suspicion, and a breakdown in intimacy.
In a healthy marriage, partners should feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
When you hide the important information you are supposed to be sharing with your spouse from her, you deprive her of the opportunity to fully understand you and support you.
Over time, this can lead to emotional distance and resentment.
Rather than keeping secrets, practice transparency and vulnerability.
Share even the minutest details of your successes, challenges, and concerns with your spouse.
When both partners are open with each other, they can work together to find solutions, make joint decisions, and strengthen their connection.
2. Put Your Own Needs First
Self-care is very important for personal well-being, but a successful marriage requires a balance between individual needs and the needs of the relationship.
Continuously prioritizing your own desires over those of your spouse can lead to feelings of neglect and isolation.
You must understand that marriage is a partnership, and both partners must actively contribute to each other’s happiness and fulfillment.
This would sometimes involve making compromises, showing empathy, and considering your spouse’s feelings when making decisions.
The idea of “self” and “I” does not really work in a marriage setting.
What is applicable in marriage is “us.”
Prioritizing the needs of the relationship demonstrates a commitment to its growth and longevity.
Remember, a strong marriage is built on mutual respect, shared goals, and a willingness to support each other’s aspirations.
3. Flirt with Other Women
As much as it is okay to have other female friends, acquaintances, and colleagues as a married man, keeping healthy boundaries with these women must not be underrated.
Flirting with other women, whether in person or online, can be hurtful and disrespectful to your spouse.
It’ll unavoidably make her feel jealous, insecure, and betrayed.
Flirting with others sends a message that you are seeking emotional or romantic validation outside of your marriage.
This can undermine the trust and emotional intimacy you’ve built with your spouse over time.
To nurture a strong marriage, prioritize your spouse’s feelings and boundaries.
Channel your romantic energy and attention into your relationship in order to deepen the connection between you and your spouse.
4. Avoid Facing Conflict at All Costs
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, and trying to avoid it when it arises can have detrimental effects on your marriage.
While it might seem easier to sweep issues under the rug, unresolved conflicts can fester and lead to larger problems down the line.
Healthy conflict resolution involves open communication, active listening, and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives.
When disagreements arise, addressing them in a respectful and constructive manner allows both partners to express their feelings and work together to find solutions.
5. Spend All Your Free Time Away from Home
While it’s important for each partner to have individual interests and hobbies, spending quality time together helps in maintaining a strong bond.
Constantly staying away from home can make your spouse constantly feel unwanted and unloved.
As a busy man who spends most of his time at work, you should dedicate your free time to being with and taking care of your wife’s needs.
Shared experiences and quality time are what help build and sustain emotional intimacy.
Engaging in activities together, having meaningful conversations, and creating cherished memories contribute to a deeper connection between partners.
Striking a balance between personal pursuits and spending time with your spouse ensures that the marriage remains a priority and that your wife feels valued and loved.
6. Belittle or Disrespect Your Wife
In some cultures, men are supposed to enforce their headship by oppressing their wives.
But this lifestyle is archaic and unacceptable in the modern world.
Now, respect is the foundation of a healthy marriage.
Belittling or disrespecting your partner, whether in private or in front of others, can cause deep emotional wounds and erode the trust and love you share.
Negative comments, criticism, or dismissive behavior can create an atmosphere of negativity and hostility.
Instead of oppressing and belittling your wife, show her kindness and empathy and continually appreciate her strengths and efforts.
If any issues arise that you need to talk about, communicate your ideas and thoughts openly and with respect and sincerity.
This way, you both are able to work together to find solutions and grow as a couple.
7. Keep Financial Secrets
Financial transparency is vital for stability and trust within a marriage.
Keeping financial secrets, whether it’s hidden debt, undisclosed purchases, or secret accounts, can lead to serious consequences such as you may be unable to afford.
Healthy financial communication involves discussing financial goals, budgeting, and making joint decisions about spending and saving.
When you decide to keep financial secrets from your wife, your marriage will face financial strain, mistrust, and avoidable arguments over money matters.
Sharing your financial situation with your spouse and working together on financial decisions will help build a sense of teamwork and unity within the marriage.
8. Compare Your Spouse to Others
Constantly comparing your spouse to others, whether it’s in terms of appearance, achievements, or behaviors, can be harmful to their self-esteem and to the relationship itself.
Every individual is unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses, including your wife.
Comparisons will only breed feelings of inadequacy, resentment, and insecurity and ultimately reduce her productivity.
What you should do is appreciate your spouse for who she is and the qualities that make her special.
Celebrating her successes and supporting her growth without the need for comparison.
9. Nurture Unrealistic Expectations
Never nurture unrealistic expectations from your spouse.
You know your wife’s abilities and capacity.
Having unrealistic expectations for her or your marriage will only serve you disappointment and dissatisfaction.
No one is perfect, and no relationship is without its challenges.
Instead of expecting perfection, embrace the reality of your partner’s imperfections and the inevitable ups and downs of a marriage.
When you approach your marriage with realistic expectations, you can create a more resilient and fulfilling partnership.
10. Neglect Intimacy and Affection
Physical and emotional intimacy are the pillars that hold a healthy marriage.
If you decide to take advice to neglect these aspects of your marriage, you will only bring emotional distance and a loss of connection between you and your wife.
Regular displays of affection, such as hugs, kisses, and meaningful gestures, help strengthen the emotional bond between you and your wife.
Intimacy goes beyond physical closeness and includes open communication, sharing feelings, and being emotionally present for each other.
Prioritize intimacy and affection to foster a deeper connection and reinforce the love and commitment within the marriage.
As a married man, you will meet several people on a daily basis, and some of them, in an attempt to “help you become better,” will give you some pieces of advice that may lead to the end of your marriage.
Knowing and understanding the advice that you must not accept or practice in your marriage will help you to trash them as they come.
Remember, it is your responsibility, as well as your wife’s, to make sure that your marriage is both healthy and harmonious at all times and that you are enjoying and not enduring the marriage.